Club Nomad

New evening classes starting

ksebruce — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:27:38 GMT

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS

Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS � DO THEY GROW ON HOLDERS

Round table discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR

Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY ...

These classifieds were really put in the paper

Zoe — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:14:25 GMT

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother, AKC German Shepherd.

Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.

Looks like a rat. Been out a while.

Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer �!00.

WEDDING DRESS ...

Good Morning

mangothemadmonk — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:21:59 GMT

Morning all. Just off to work. Have a good 'un whatever you are doing.

And hey, you be careful out there.

Johnny F

Mornin all

mrsksebruce — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 10:00:03 GMT

another cold one in cleveland.Where's all this global warming?

Morecambe, Blackpool/St Annes

greenasthegrass — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 14:58:33 GMT

We are wanting to go to the seaside ont'other coast on Boxing Day anyone got any good places to stay either CL's or just wild spots, somewhere where we can walk to a bit of a town maybe not just on a car park in middle of nowhere? Either that or we go back to Whitby which is possibly not unheard of!

We have from Friday lunchtime till Sunday evening to fill.

Ta!

Greenie

Evening All

SandJ — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:20:42 GMT

We will move this if Ian creates an Late Birds topic.

Ok Cazza you can be first...........................................

Ater me

Evening all, had a good day?

waste water hog

tanky — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 13:09:13 GMT

Due to the wife getting on a bit she is finding it difficult to carry our waste water carrier when it is full. So as a extra christmas present I am going to treat her to one with wheels on, but I have had a bit of a shock when seeing the price's. Now I love her to bits but do not want to spoil her, and �40 plus for a christmas present is a bit ott. Just wondering If any fellow Nomads had a spare kicking around that they would part with for a few bob,or know where they can be purchased for less. ...

pub camping sites

chapter — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 21:32:57 GMT

here are a couple of web sites that have pubs with camp sites http://www.365campingcaravanning.com/campsites_pubs_South%20West.htm

http://www.pubcamping.co.uk/pubs-and-inns/devon/

we have used the tudor arms slimbridge and the woodbridge inn near pewsey wilts ( beer fest with redsonja) i will post when i have the date for this year

chapter

Frozen pipes

Rapide561 — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:59:51 GMT

Hi

This harsh weather caused me a bit of a kerfuffle, basically with a frozen external drain pipe. The pipe runs from the shower to the waste tank, and is external. Next thing I knew I had flooded the bathroom floor.

More harsh frosts are forecasted and I am looking to prevent a repeat.

Would strong salty water do any harm to the pipes etc if I put a mug full down there at night?

Russell

Guess where I am

Zoe — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:57:23 GMT

Guess where this is, If you win, you get the next go!

XBOX (not 360) + 6 games and wireless controller

bsb2000 — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:39:41 GMT

I am selling my XBOX (not 360), I have had it from new and it's had very little use, in excellent condition, bought a Wii for Christmas hence this is now surplus to requirements.

Comes complete with connection leads, controller, 6 games and a wireless controller.

The games are:-

Forza Motorsport

Commandos Strike Force

Brothers in Arms

Rainbow Six 3

Moto GP URT 2

Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow

A nice little complete games system on a budget - �40

Happy New Year

Leapy — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:59:13 GMT

Like to wish you all a Happy New Year with plenty of good motorhoming experiences-I know this is early but off to meet at Dorchester on Thames later this morning

no photo upload

chapter — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 01:13:40 GMT

i can not upload photos on camp site page i only get the word (lmage) but no photo

stop over n/devon

chapter — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:54:58 GMT

this is a great over night stop on the north devon link rd aprox 20 miles from J27

more sport and tv

SandJ — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 17:25:29 GMT

More Internetstuff

Try

|Tvu player for sport

http://www.football4less.com/streams/tvuplayer.html

Try Zattoo for Tv

http://zattoo.com/

steve

Alarm fitters recommendations

RichardnGill — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 14:55:55 GMT

I know Leisure Tech is well recommend on here but are there any other company's that anyone can recommend to check out.

I might also want a sat dish and solar panel fitting if my budget will stretch that far.

Rich...

Skiing Trips

greenasthegrass — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:20:50 GMT

If any other bods apart from the Imbiber Clan are going Skiing this year would they like to share it with us as we would like to do the same next year over Christmas and want some tips etc - we have been skiing before but BS (before sprogs) and we fancied going with the boys obviously I will watch might have a go on a sledge.

Greenie

PS a meet/rally with us all would be fantastic - yeh yeh am unrealistic again!

Merry Christmas Everyone

Zoe — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:40:59 GMT

[center] Well Santas on his way, and I'd just like to wish everyone

a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

[/center]

Just the...........................

SandJ — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 07:14:19 GMT

Retire to

Alaska

Tom had been in Police work for 25

years.

Finally sick of the stress, he

quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as

possible.

He sees the

postman once a week and gets groceries once a month.

Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost

total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded

man is standing there.

'Name's Cliff, ...

Getting away this festive period

bsb2000 — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 09:26:54 GMT

I know a few of us are getting away in the next few days, so where you off to?

We are going to a little site on the corner of the Humber/Trent North of Scunthorpe on Saturday for 3 nights whilst attending the Speedway Christmas Cracker event at Scunthorpe Speedway, then dropping down to Stockwith for 3 nights to celebrate the New Year at a site next to the small marina

this is exiting

Zoe — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:39:49 GMT

I've asked Ian to put this section in because we all know of somewhere special whether it e a commercial site or a wild camping site!

It would be nice if we could get a good collection of spots together, and gives us a chance to find out where one another like to visit.

Smoke Alarms

mangothemadmonk — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:38:46 GMT

I have a small quantity of brand new smoke alarms for MHs. These are optical models designed for boats, caravans and MHs. (Optical: These are more expensive but more effective at detecting larger particles of smoke produced by slow-burning fires, such as smouldering foam-filled upholstery and overheated PVC wiring.)

They have a 10year fixed cell in and a hush facility for "nuisance" actuation (you know, when the wife burns the dinner!!)

They are FREE so let me know who wants ...

Blonde in swimming race

Wildman — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 11:33:34 GMT

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are in a breast stroke race. The starter's gun goes off and the three girls dive into the pool. The brunette and the redhead shoot across the pool and get out; 20 minutes later the blonde reaches the end and gets out. The judge says, "The gold medal goes to the brunette, the silver medal goes to the redhead, and the bronze goes to the blonde". The blonde says, "I don't want to be a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their arms."

Hee ...

Sunday bluddy Sunday

greenasthegrass — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 17:56:18 GMT

so far today ....

1. Andrew was putting up a towel rack in the downstairs loo and drilled through the mains cable.

2. Sat on toilet seat and it fell off along with me.

3. Iron looking like its kicked the bucket.

4. Vacuum filter has disintegrated (�27 for 2 gulp).

4. Found a moth on my pastry waiting in the fridge (urgh).

5. Broken the rolling pin for aforementioned pastry.

6. Realised its bluddy Sunday yet again.

7. Got that panicky feeling about ...

A small distraction from the xmas blues

Zoe — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 12:54:38 GMT

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they ...

top tip for this christmas

Zoe — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 18:48:27 GMT

To get through the massive queue's while Christmas shopping, get a wind-up alarm clock, and put it in your backpack.

It's amazing how many people will let you go in front of them once they realise your backpack is ticking.

Tricky Eye Test

mangothemadmonk — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:03:59 GMT

Eye Test

I know it's a small picture but see if you can do it anyway.

Can you spot the 44th president of the United States of America in the chart below?

Child Support applications...

Zoe — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:04:24 GMT

The following are all replies that Leeds women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details;' or putting it another way...... Who's the Daddy?

These are genuine excerpts from the forms

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on thesame night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the ...

You shouldn't laugh really........

bsb2000 — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:07:12 GMT

Epiphany..........

Zoe — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:34:18 GMT

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the Sky clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete ...

Saint Valery en Caux - Upper Normandy

bsb2000 — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:36:53 GMT

Saint Valery en Caux (49.8723, 0.70843) is very picturesque which is maybe why they enforce the 48 hour stay limit, it's free to park and has facilities at a small charge.

You must try and get there mid/late morning because once it's full there's little chance that people will move off, it's a short walk back into the town. There is a nice little cafe in the market square which has free Wi-Fi if you're looking for somewhere to catch up online and enjoy a coffee.

Deauville - Lower Normandy

bsb2000 — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:00:03 GMT

Deauville (49.36217 0.08131) is a lovely place to sit and chill out whilst watching the boats coming and going. It is seperated from Trouville by a bridge just around the corner from the quayside, both towns are only a few minutes walk away. There are no facilities but it is free. There is a big market in Trouville, but unfortunately I can't remember what day it is on.

Berck - Nord Pas De Calais

bsb2000 — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:24:50 GMT

Berck (50.39653, 1.56141) is a very large Aire so although it is popular you should find a place.

It's free and you can stay for up to 7 nights at a time, there is a small chemical disposal tank on the right as you enter the car park. There is no water but there is a local Aire where you can get some if needs be.

You're right on the beach, you can either walk through the dunes opposite or up to the boat park at the top of the car park.

There is a little 'chip' van but he closes ...

stupidity awards

Zoe — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:26:57 GMT

1.

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence ...

irish humor

tanky — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:52:23 GMT

>

>

> Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in

> O'Leary's apartment when Paddy

> Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest,

> and drops dead at the table.

> Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five

> continue playing standing up.

> Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, 'Well, me

> boys, someone gots to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'

>

> They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one.

> ...

New Beast Ready for action

RichardnGill — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 00:24:36 GMT

Just got a new beast

Anyone into Mountain bikes

Rich...

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

mangothemadmonk — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:29:01 GMT

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one smells a bit.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, ...

Xmas Balloon Dance

mangothemadmonk — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:05:40 GMT

Have a look at this saucy xmas balloon dance.........

Balloon Dance

Patients Xmas Night Out...

Zoe — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 12:24:54 GMT

A crowd enter a bar and order a big round of drinks ,when they come to pay they give the barman milk bottle tops.

'what the hell is this??' says the barman. The head of the group comes over to explain - 'Its the annual outing from the mental home down the road. Just humour them, keep a tab and a the end of the night , I'll settle up with you' says the guy.

'Ok' says the barman with a big wink.

The night rolls on and its a roaring success. The barman hails the guy. 'that was a great night! ...

Tiger Attack

SandJ — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 09:58:10 GMT

keep your eyes peeled

HERE

Dogs in Tigers cage

SandJ — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 09:51:47 GMT

Amazing

HERE

40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates

Zoe — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:54:47 GMT

40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.

St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying. 'I've got 40

travellers here. Can I let them in?'

God says 'We are over the quota on Pikeys. Go out and tell them to choose

between them which are the 12 most worthy, and I will let just the dozen in.'

Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again.

'They've gone', he tells God.

'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?'

'No, ...

ICE good idea

Wildman — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:58:40 GMT

We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in the memory. If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this 'ICE' (In Case of Emergency) Campaign.

The concept of 'ICE' is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As mobile phones ...

Cloud has been lifted

Orange — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 12:53:33 GMT

I have worked for The Daily Mirror since 1989. For 15 of those years I held a managerial post. I was one of six duty managers in the Post Press department.

Last February we were informed that there would be redundacies and one manager would have to go (they said two initially). However due to changes in the Pre Press department there would be a vacancy as a CTP operations controller if anyone wished to apply (this was open to anyone in the factory).

It would be a big cut in money but Pre ...

A few more

SandJ — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 21:44:33 GMT

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.'

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died ...

Xmas Lyrics....

mangothemadmonk — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:30:53 GMT

What lyrics to these lines appear..... Extra points for artist and the date first sung..

"And all of this happens because the world is waiting

Waiting for one child

Black, white, yellow, no-one knows

But a child that will grow up and turn tears to laughter

Hate to love, war to peace and everyone to everyone's neighbour

And misery and suffering will be words to be forgotten, forever"

one for the girls

tanky — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:45:28 GMT

A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?'

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.'

The husband replies, 'What did he say about your ...

christmas decorations

Brian&Lisa — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 23:18:27 GMT

so come on who has put there tree and decoration up

lisa

im one of them

Council Complaints

Zoe — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 21:37:08 GMT

1) My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3) It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5) I want to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6) And their 18-year-old son is continually ...

HELP HELP HELP problems with tv

tanky — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 17:55:25 GMT

What am I doing wrong

Iam trying to rig a Nikkai 12v 10w tv in the van but I am having no success

I have taken two of the tvs back thinking there was a fault,but now when the third one refused to go then it must be me. The chinese can not be all that bad.

When I get the tv home I try it with the mains in the house and it works ok

I then attach it to my leisure battery with crocodile clips via a triple socket adaptor

(input 12v)(out put 12v 6.3A).

I have incorperated a fuse breaker ...