top tip for this christmas

To get through the massive queue's while Christmas shopping, get a wind-up alarm clock, and put it in your backpack.

It's amazing how many people will let you go in front of them once they realise your backpack is ticking.

Do what I used to do and tell the kids father Xmas has sadly died and the reindeer have contracted foot and mouth and had to be put down and they cant find anyone who can take over till next year...... Result

Johnny F

After listening to the usual " started ya christmas shopping yet" "only x amount of weeks to christmas" and "are you ready for christmas" I like to inform them that actually I don't do christmas and you can hear the jaws dropping - leave a minute for effect and say my kids are deprived they never get anything and then slip in - so are you ready for christmas? works a treat!!! Done it for 30 years now - result!

Still have that feeling of panic though when 25th arrives but its only in my head - talk about trained!

Most say well I hate it and I can always say well don't do it then! have worked out probably saved me thousands over the years and no my kids aren't deprived! beaten to a pulp yeh but not deprived!

Greenie

If I can't buy it online, Jacqui trawls the shops, sorted

I am okay this christmas a Nigerian guy has sent me an e-mail and he wants to give me six million quid tax free

I have canceled xmas this year in the Mango's house, but I might get myself something if I am very good

Johnny F

And what might that be Johnny?

Zoe wrote:And what might that be Johnny?

He said he was having a WEE (Wii) for Xmas

Not for me, but I bought one for Shirl though. Just got to wrap it.

What a bloody con though. You only get one set of controller and nunchaks. I have had to buy another set. Have told Shirl to make my present a bit bigger because of my extra expense.

I already know what I am getting and I cant wait I just hope that Anne Summers wraps it in brown paper!!!



Johnny F

I just hope that Anne Summers wraps it in brown paper!!!

Make sure you stock up on batteries Johnny

WHAT!!!!!!! HE IS DEAD?

Yep, but you have been a naughty boy, so you wouldn't have got owt anyway!